tiny pink books

The Rules of Survival by Nancy Werlin
2006, Dial

There’s a lot of high quality reads coming out of YA these days and The Rules of Survival is not exception.  A compelling story of three children struggling to survive their emotionally abusive, mentally ill mother Nikki.  Narrated by 17-year-old Matt, the oldest brother, The Rules of Survival is told through a letter written to his youngest sister Emmy, as he records their childhood so that she may someday understand the horrible situation that they escaped.   In retelling his darkest childhood memories, Matt comes to terms with his life and the instability that he, and his sisters, were trapped in for so many years.

The characters in The Rules of Survival are excellently written.  Nikki, especially, is frighteningly realistic in her highs and lows and the terror she forces her children to live through.  The abuse she puts her children through is almost purely emotional and mental, and Werlin does an amazing job of describing these situations in a way that the reader understands the full power of Nikki’s actions, even though, for the most part, her children are left physically unharmed.  In one situation, for example, Matt recalls stealing a cookie after dinner as a young boy.  He wakes up that night with Nikki standing over him, holding a knife to his throat as she giggles and lectures him about how stealing is wrong.  The emotional trauma that Nikki’s unpredictable behavior puts the children through, is described in a way that captures the brutality that emotional abuse can carry with it.  Forced to walk on eggshells and fear their mother’s manic mood swings at all times, the children suffer greatly.  The characters of Matt and his younger sister Callie are also extremely well written.  Both characters are very well fleshed out as they live in fear of their mother and try to protect their youngest sister Emmy from her abuse.

Although this book may sound like a real downer, it’s not.  The story, ultimately, is one with a happy ending (and no, I’m not ruining it for you, from the first pages of the book, it is clear that Matt and his two sisters have survived and moved onto safety).   With the help of one of Nikki’s ex-boyfriends, Matt struggles to get extended family and an absent father to take action into helping his family. The mood of the book is serious, but it is by no means depressing.  It’s interesting and at times frightening, but it is also a story of taking control and growing up.

This is a young adult book, but would be equally suitable for adult readers. A finalist for the National Book Award.